Yes, I Was a "Stay-At-Home Daughter." No, I Wasn't Crazy..

Part two in my previous series on being a stay-at-home daughter.

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Created for a Purpose (December 15, 2010)

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There are few things which rile a feminist more than to state that God has designed women to fill a unique role. “Men and women are equal! How can you say that a woman is limited in what she can do with her life? How dare Christians insist that women conform to some outdated standard of living!” What they don't understand is that conforming to God's design for our lives is not confining; it is liberating. When we follow God's plan, we do not have to flounder around looking for purpose in life. God has already assigned us, as His daughters, a part to play and He has given us clear directions on how to live. This frees us from the burden of figuring out how to relate to men and from confusion over how to use our time on this earth. It also opens up to us opportunities to serve in ways that men are not able to. When men and women dedicate themselves to following God's pattern for biblical manhood and biblical womanhood, they compliment each other and thereby make a great impact on the world for Christ.

In Genesis 2:18, woman's first purpose is brought to light, “Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.'” In all of creation, not a single living thing was found appropriate to walk with Adam through life in the garden. He needed someone like him to be his companion and helper. So, why didn't God simply make another man? Because Adam, as a man, lacked something. And God had the perfect solution. He caused a deep sleep to fall over Adam and lovingly created from Adam's side the perfect help-meet, the suitable companion, the finishing touch on creation – woman. Eve's purpose in life was to comfort Adam, to work alongside him throughout life, to be someone with whom Adam could enjoy the wonders of Eden. She was God's gift to man.

Why did God create woman from Adam's rib? Why not his jaw, or his leg, or his toes? The Bible doesn't mention any specific reason for why God chose the rib, but it has been suggested that this indicates woman's role. I've heard it said that perhaps God did not take a bone from Adam's head, because woman is not the head of the family. God did not take a bone from Adam's foot, because man is not to trample on woman. God took a bone from Adam's side, because Eve was to walk beside him, ever near to his heart and under his arm of protection. Although Scripture does not state this as the reason for God forming Eve from Adam's rib, it's an interesting thought to consider.

God saw that creation was incomplete without woman. He knew that Adam would need a suitable helper, and Eve had the great honor of being the perfect answer to Adam's need. Genesis 2:23-24 tells us, “The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Ultimately, that is why woman was created. No matter what feminism says, woman's original purpose in life was to bring glory to God by being a blessing to man. Ephesians 5:23-24 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Not only did God create woman to bless man, but He also created marriage to be a picture of Christ and the church. Just as the wife is to submit to the husband, so the church is to submit to Christ. But the husband is not to lord over the wife. Men are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. Feminism claims that Christianity wants women to be doormats. On the contrary, when men fulfill their God-given roles, women will be treated with honor and respect, with undying love just as Christ loves each of us. Supporting men is not woman's only role in life, but it is a large part of her calling.

Women are commanded to be submissive, to be hospitable, to love their husband and children, to be keepers at home, to be pure, sensible, and kind – all so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed (Titus 2:3-5). So how does all that apply to us as daughters? The mistake people often make is to assume that we don't have to worry about fulfilling these commands until after we are married. The truth is, you are not going to suddenly wake up one day after your wedding and be the perfect little Susie Homemaker. Cultivating the right attitudes and abilities needed in marriage takes time, prayer and serious consideration. Think about it this way. A teacher spends four years in college learning how to teach. A lawyer spends at least seven years in school preparing to defend the law. A doctor spends eight or more years studying the best ways to care for patients. A Christian woman's role as wife and mother is more important than any earthly career, so doesn't it make sense that we would put just as much effort into preparing for that role as some people put into preparing for careers?

The characteristics these Scriptures describe are characteristics all Christian women should have, not just the married women. Single women are to be concerned with the work of the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:34), and in order to do that they will need to be sensible, pure, kind and submissive to authority. Even single daughters have a God-designed role to play. The years before marriage are not for running around seeking self-centered pleasures. We each have a position to fill in the Kingdom, regardless of our marital status. We must look to God's Word as a guide for what our single years should look like, not the traditions of man or societal norms.

For Him,

Brittany N.

A Little Background

I used to blog for Camp COMMIT over at campcommit.wordpress.com. As sort of an introduction to my new blog and to give you a better idea of where I am coming from, I thought I'd re-post a series of articles I wrote over there about being a stay-at-home daughter.

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On Being Home (December 9, 2010)

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I am finally getting around to writing a series on being a stay-at-home daughter, which I said I would write over a year ago. The main reason I have put it off so long is because there is so much to say on the subject and I don't feel qualified to be the one giving the advice because there is still so much I need to learn. However, I would like to share a few of my thoughts and experiences from this journey and hopefully encourage some of you who are already stay-at-home daughters as well as those of you who are considering alternatives to a college education. Before I begin this series, please note that my views do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Camp Commit staff.

Let me give you a little history. I was not raised with the idea that it would be beneficial for me to remain under my father's roof until marriage. My parents homeschooled my siblings and me all the way through high school and instilled in us solid, biblical views of the roles of men and women, but they had never given much thought as to whether sending their girls off to get a “higher education” was a wise course of action. Though my mother always emphasized homemaking skills and the blessings of being a stay-at-home mom, she naturally assumed that I would go to college, briefly pursue some sort of career, and soon thereafter marry and raise children. Growing up, the idea of going away to college was not exactly an attractive one to me, but I – like most people – considered it a necessary step toward adulthood.

By the time I was thirteen I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was going to be a full-time medical missionary. I would get my degree as a registered nurse and then live out the rest of my days on some foreign field spreading the Gospel of Christ, ministering to people's bodies and souls. No white apron, van full of kids, or cookie cutter house for me. I was going to make a difference in the world, and a family would just slow me down. Boy, has the Lord drastically changed my perspective in the last few years!

During my senior year in high school I enrolled in the general education classes at our community college in order to take the prerequisites for the nursing program. You know that saying that goes something like, “The best way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans”? Well, God certainly must have been laughing at me! To make a long story short, through a series of fortunate events, God showed me how different my ways were from His ways, and He graciously brought me to a point where I was finally willing to give up my notions of what my life should look like.

The biggest thing that changed my perspective was reading So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. If you have not read it, I strongly encourage you to do so as soon as you can. While I don't agree with all of their theology, and I believe their view on Salvation is wrong, the book deals more with the effects of feminism on our culture than with matters of doctrine and I think there is much to be gained from their insights. As I read the book by the Botkin sisters, I was continually challenged with biblical principles of what young women should do with their lives before marriage. While I took in their words, I realized just how much feminism had crept into my own life without me even realizing it. I was convicted by how far my idea of submission and a daughter's role was from God's idea. I realized that rather than seeking God's will, I had essentially been saying, “God, this is what I'm going to do. Are you going to help me here or not?”

The second thing that helped me reevaluate my views was a trip I took with a friend who was touring a Christian campus. Though the people there weren't participating in any obviously wicked activities, the girls were still caught up in short-term romances, they were deeply concerned about their image, they lived for the weekends when they could go out and have “fun,” and their opinions seemed to be based more on what other people would think of them than on God's Word. The people who were concerned with getting good grades and who studied more than they partied were termed “anti-social.” Though they are paying more than $16,000 a year in tuition, many of the students don't seem to care about how much debt they or their parents are getting into so that they can attend that college. Many see it as an opportunity to get away from home and make their own choices. And negative attitudes are not just coming from the students, either. Many of the classes, though taught by Christians, are full of humanistic viewpoints and feminist agendas which encourage girls to compete with and outdo men. After much prayer and study, I realized that was not an environment I wanted to subject myself to.

I had to take a hard look at my reasons for pursuing the nursing degree. What I discovered about myself was hard to swallow. Yes, I was trying to earn a medical degree to help other people, but I was also doing it for selfish reasons. I knew that there have already been thousands of people who have proved that homeschoolers are just as capable of succeeding in college as anyone else, but I wanted to go beyond that. I wanted to prove that I was not only capable of succeeding, but that I was capable of <em>excelling</em> in my education. If things had gone according to my plan, I would have been finished with the nursing program by the time I was eighteen. I also would have been the first of my siblings to attend college and earn a degree (my two older brothers chose to attend a preaching school after graduating high school – which is, in my reformed opinion, way more valuable than any degree). I pushed myself so hard that eventually I lost sight of why I had wanted to pursue that particular degree in the first place.

Not only was pride getting in the way of my surrendering to God's will, but also my fear. Even after I realized how much better it would be to spend my time studying how to be a godly wife and mother and ministering to my own community, I feared what people would say. Having been homeschooled my whole life, I was used to people asking the same questions over and over (like, “Do you have any friends?” Or, “How can you be sure that you are staying on the same grade level as everyone else your age?” Or – every homeschooler's favorite – “Do you get to do school in your pajamas?”). But it was different when I decided not to attend college.

 Before, when people asked questions, I knew the answer to them. I knew how to reply. “Yes, I do have friends. Yes, I am allowed to do school in my pajamas, but I don't like to. Yes, I take tests. No, the government is not the absolute authority when it comes to what is necessary to teach your children.” But suddenly I was at a loss as to how to answer these new questions that would come up. Like, “Do you think it is a sin for girls to go to college?” Or, “How can staying home be better than going to a foreign country and spreading God's Word?” Or, (my personal favorite), “How are you going to find someone to marry if you don't go to college???” It wasn't so much that I didn't know the answers to these questions; the problem was that I didn't know how to articulate my feelings on the subjects without offending the other person – and without sounding like a “sadly sheltered and naïve” girl.

Maybe those are some of the questions that are running through your mind right now. In this series I would like to answer those and other questions as best I can, relying on God's Word for how to live my life, not man's ideals or priorities. Before you write me off as an uptight, hyper-conservative who “would like to go back to the days when women were suppressed and abused” – stick with me for awhile. You may not agree with me, but at least you will get another perspective.

For His Glory,
Brittany N.

Happy Day

I'm working on several more serious articles to post but with a five month old it's hard to find time to actually finish anything. So, for now, here are some random things that have made my day wonderful.

I didn't feel sick when I woke up this morning! Woohoo! It's so nice to feel almost normal again. With my first pregnancy I was nauseated every single day and threw up at least three or four times a week nearly the entire pregnancy. I was in bed for most of the month of October last year. I once went three whole weeks without throwing up. That was right before I went into labor. I threw up three times that day. Needless to say, I am VERY thankful that the Lord has blessed me with an easier pregnancy this time around! And I never want to take for granted those wonderful days when I feel sooo good.

My husband treated me to a banana fudge milkshake from Sonic this afternoon. Mmmm! Deliciousness. I have the best husband.

We got some very important things done in preparation for our move. There have been so many setbacks, but we're finally making some major headway.

I got to talk to my mom today. So nice to catch up!

I spent some refreshing time with the Lord in Bible study and prayer during one of those rare moments when Baby Boy was actually sleeping on his own. Poor little guy is teething and has a hard time sleeping unless he's being held and constantly rocked back to sleep.

My house is decently clean! I've worked hard on it all week and I am so happy to have my living room back under control. It's not perfect, but it's good enough.

Little man is waking up, so that's all for now. Hope you have had a lovely day full of blessings!

Welcome to My Blog!

Hey there! I've been wanting to start a blog for a long time and am finally getting around to it. 

First, a little bit about myself......

1) I am a Bible believing Christian, first and foremost. I believe that the Bible is God's holy, inspired Word. I live my life striving to please Christ by obeying His commands as recorded for us in Scripture. There is no greater joy in my life than sharing the Gospel with others. If you'd like to know more, I'd love to discuss my beliefs with you!

2) July 9, 2011 I became the wife of the most wonderful man in the world! We courted for one month before he proposed and we tied the knot a little over three months later. I am still very much a newlywed and in the "honeymoon stage" of marriage (where we plan to stay till death do us part) so the wisdom and experience I have to share in this area is rather limited. Nonetheless, I'd like to share some of the things I've learned in the last year and a half and hopefully encourage some other young brides out there.

3) I am the mother of a beautiful baby boy, born May 5, 2012. He is sweet, funny, and totally adorable! We love him to pieces!

4) Three months after our son was born we found out we are expecting our second baby, due to arrive sometime in March 2013! Totally surprised, totally thrilled. Yeah, in just under one year I got married, had a baby, and began the whole pregnancy journey over again. Been a busy year....

5) I went from being a stay-at-home daughter to being a homemaker and stay-at-home mom. I'm one of those weirdos who has never had a job in the typical workforce. And I LOVE it. Wouldn't have it any other way.

6) I am quiet and reserved around people I don't know very well. But get me started on a topic I care about and you'll see quite a different person. Let's just say I have opinions. Strong ones. I try to keep that side of myself under control. Sometimes successfully.

7) I am not very crafty, but I'm learning to crochet. I also like to sew but didn't have a sewing machine until just this week. A dear friend blessed me with her old machine and I am so excited!

8) My husband and I are preparing to move to India for five years. We will be working with the churches in the Andhra Pradesh district and helping to build up area congregations. We also hope to teach English at a children's home there. We are so excited about the work and are extremely eager to get started! Making such a big move is a long, slow process, especially with a five month old and a baby due in March. But, Lord willing, we will be able to move sometime next year.

So, in case you didn't catch why my blog is named "Beautiful Chaos", let me recap for you. I am a young wife (a beautiful part of life, but also a bit crazy at times as I try to figure out how to best serve my husband). I am a mom (beautiful!) to a five month old (if you've ever had a five month old, you know the chaos that comes with that). We are expecting our second child in March (BEAUTIFUL!!!)... when our son will only be ten months old (Umm... chaotic? Just a bit!). I am just now coming out of the terrible morning sickness stage, which means my house has been a little neglected. Okay, it looks like a tornado decided to park in my living room and never leave. Chaos is a kind word for the state of my home right now. BUT I am a Christian on my way to Heaven (you can't get more beautiful than that), we are preparing to become missionaries in a land that desperately needs the light of Christ, and we are blessed beyond measure! Sometimes I feel like my life is totally out of control; then I realize I never really had control to begin with, and I'm just fine with that.

In coming posts I'd like to share some of the struggles and joys I've faced as I've made a quick transition from singleness to marriage to motherhood. I hope to encourage, uplift, and inspire you to live your life for Christ every moment of every day. May God bless you in your walk with Him!